Deeper Still

What a numbing day this was. The grief we all experienced and witnessed reminded me that no matter how deep the pain, Christ is deeper still. I have to believe this. Otherwise, all of this is senseless. To lose somone like Auntie Beth is devastating to everyone here. She was the light, the glue, the rock, everything that was good in this family - that is what she was. My only questions to God in all this are "what is your plan now? how will you reveal yourself to others in the family here?"

The video that I prepared never saw its end. By the time the video was played, the emotional response especially from my two cousins, were so deep, that my other auntie demanded that we stop the video. Frankly I was shocked. Later I overheard murmurings from some other people that it was not the time and place for such a presentation and that it added to the pain. This was confusing for me to overhear.

At the gravesite, my cousin, Tanya was so overcome with grief that she had to be taken to the hospital afterwards, where she spent the night. She had difficulty breathing and the doctor felt it was best to keep her for the night. At the gravesite I stood right behind my two cousins and prayed over them while they sealed their mother's grave. I remember whispering the 23rd Psalm, and one of my aunts later told me that she initially didn't realize where it was coming from, but the verses had a calming effect. That is what the Spirit does in times like this. I hope He will continue to dwell amongst the family in deep deep ways. No matter how deep the pain, He is always deeper.

I travel back to Cebu tomorrow at 5 am for work while Megumi and the kids stay behind for one more day.