Rewriting the Tapes

The theoretical premise of cognitive-behavioral therapy is simply this: our thoughts (cogntive thinking) impact our feelings which in turn impact behavior.

Here's an example: I'm short, bald, and fat and that's why no one values what I have to say or write.

Assuming that I truly believe this, imagine the accompany feelings: inadequacy, anger, frustration, scared of rejection
And then the behaviors: I withdraw from certain situations, even when I am needed to share an opinion, or I might overcompensate by acting like Napolean B. (diminuitive yet big in attitude).

If I chose to go into therapy for this, the counselor, if he or she embraced CBT, would not focus first on changing my behavior ("Russ you just need to speak up more or be more easy-going") or even aim to change how I feel. How many times have you asked someone "why do you feel that way?" and you just hear crickets or the look that says "I don't know." The therapist ruled by cognitive-behavioral theory would first challenge my faulty or maladaptive thinking. Once you change the way you think, everything else changes. In this scenario, the therapist would look at me and probably say "Okay Russ, even if all those things are true about your appearance, what does that have to do with how people perceive the opinions you share?" He would challenge the faultiness of my cognition.

I share this silly example first, so you can begin to understand the more painful realities of our lives and the lives of those who hurt around us. These days, I have been talking with a few of my IJM colleagues, talking with Megumi, and doing a lot of journaling and praying about how we can bring spiritual healing to the women victims of trafficking. As you can imagine, these women suffer so much hurt because of the series of traumatic and broken experiences in their lives. And along the way, their feelings and behaviors are all dictated by those tapes, those voices that are repeatedly played over and over in their heads. You can imagine what they are:

- I'm dirty and everyone thinks I'm dirty
- I'm worthless and nobody cares for me
- I'm stupid because I can't do anything
- It's all my fault that I got myself into this mess.

The painful list most certainly continues for victims of sexual violence. The training I just attended the last three days equipped all those in the field to help bring healing to these women who hurt. A 10-step methodology with accompanying activities were shared.

And then there is the Word - which always exposes the lies told to us by the Imposter by simply speaking Truth. Next time you are in an utterly dark room, see for yourself how a match, a lighter flame, a lamp, or any source of light consumes the darkness. Light always consumes darkness - not the other way of around. I have to imagine that there is something in the Word that can rewrite the tapes of all the lies that we believe about ourselves. Because Truth always does that.

I can ramble on and on about this because there is so much in my head these days about this issue. I welcome your prayers during this time and also any thoughts you could share with me about this.

Below I share a paragraph from a book Megumi and I have enjoyed reading. It's from Brennan Manning's Abba's Child and we were captivated by Brennan Manning and his thoughts of brokeness and healing power of Abba's Love when we attended one of his retreats last year. I'm reading portions of this book to help me in my contemplations these days.

Manning writes:

"When we accept the truth of what we really are and surrender it to Jesus Christ, we are enveloped in peace, whether or not we feel ourselves to be at peace. By that I mean the peace that passes understanding is not a subjective sensation of peace; if we are in Christ, we are in peace even when we feel no peace.

With a graciousness and an understanding of human weakness that only God can exhibit, Jesus liberates us from alienation and self-condemnation and offers each of us a new possibility. He is the Savior who saves us from ourselves. His Word is freedom. The Master says to us:

'Burn the old tapes spinning 'round in your head that bind you up and lock you into a self-centered stereotype. Listen to the new song of salvation written for those know that they are poor. Let go of your fear of the Father and your dislike of yourself. Remember the play Don Quixote? The Knight of the Mirrors lied to him when he said, 'See yourself as you really are. Discover that you are not a noble knight, but an idiotic scarecrow of a man.' And the Enchanter lies ot you when he says, "Thou art no knight but a foolish pretender. Look in the mirror of reality. Behold things as they really are. What dost thou see? Naught but an aging fool." The Father of Lies twists the truth and distorts reality. He is the author of cynicism and skepticism, mistrust and despair, sick thinking and self-hatred. I am the Son of compassion. You belong to Me and no one will tear you from My hand."

To - my friends in Southern California, it looks like Brennan Manning will be in Loma Linda the second weekend in November. I would encourage you to attend if possible. For more info, press here.