She's a Daughter of A King

Along with my Aftercare colleagues and community aftercare partners, I have been attending this week a training conference on Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The training is led by an American psychologist who just completed the same training for another IJM office in South Asia. The training is aimed to further equip our network of caregivers and professionals in bring healing to the young girls and women we serve. Yesterday, the trainer shared a tragic story of sexual violence found in the Old Testament. It is found in 2 Samuel 13 and it is about the rape of King David's daughter, Tamar. There are many angles to the story, but imagine it from the victim's. After having just read it, I am shaken by the entire account.

What do we know about Tamar? She was:
- the sister of Absalom - King David's son, she i the daughter of a King, a Princess
- the half-sister Ammon, who was "obsessed" with her, so much so that he became ill (v. 2)
- a virgin
- lured into bedroom of Ammon, who pretended to be sick, and requested her to cook and serve his favorite dish, which was all a scheme to rape her
- She pleaded with her brother by saying "Don't to this to me!" and "Where could I go in my shame?" (v. 13)
- raped because Ammon was stronger than she was (v. 14)
- She sobbed when Ammon's lust turned to sheer hatred by crying out "Sending me away is worse that what you've already done to me." (v. 14).
- Thrown out of the house, still wearing the long beautiful robe worn by the king's virgin daughters (v. 18).
- In shock and distress, she tore her robe, put ashes on her head, and with her face in her hands, went away crying
- told by her brother, Absolom to "keep quiet" and "don't worry about it."
- She lived as "a desolate woman in her brother Absolom's house." This is the last thing we hear about her.

What an unbelievably tragic tragic story. Raped and then thrown out and rejected in painful shame. And then told by an expected defender to keep quiet since it was just a family matter. And even worse yet, when her father, King David found out, he did absolutely nothing on behalf of his daughter. During those times, the crime of rape destroyed a women's chances of marriage because of her stolen virginity. Tamar deserved better as a princess - she was the daughter of a king. One day perhaps we will find out in heaven how Tamar endured all her pain. What a great testimony that will be.

I cannot imagine what it was like for Tamar. Unfortunately, many can fully relate - all those who have been sexually abused, worse yet by someone they trusted, rejected by community, and then pushed out to suffer silently on their own. The numbers of those who have been sexually assaulted and abused are simply staggering. Who will protect them? Who will seek justice on their behalf? How will they heal? And who will bring it?
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"I am exhausted and completely crushed. My groans come from an anguished heart. You know what I long for, Lord; you hear my every sigh. My heart beats wildly, my strength fails, and I am going blind. My loved ones and friends stay away, fearing my disease. Even my own family stands at a distance. Meanwhile, my enemies lay traps to kill me. Those who wish me harm make plans to ruin me. All day they plan their treachery. But I am deaf to all their threats. I am silent before them as one who cannot speak. I choose to hear nothing, and I make no reply.

For I am waiting for you, O Lord. You must answer for me, O Lord my God." - Psalms 38