I May Need A Job

In seven months, we are scheduled to return back home, where so many things await us. Family, friends, our church family, our two Honda's, our Irvine townhome, and Hana's school - all part of our great life back in Southern California. So much has changed since we left in July 2008. We've heard that gas has reached below $2. And the economy has taken a huge dump. Of course, it was on its trajectory spiral, but the panic did not occur until later in the summer. My intent was to return back to Orange County Social Services Agency, where I had worked as a social worker for nearly ten years. But the with economic dump, there is a possibility I may not be able to get my foot back in the door.

I was reading the dismal news online and exchanged emails with a couple former co-workers. They have slashed support programs, huge layoffs are imminent, along with a hiring freeze. The desperation point has even led union leadership to encourage its employees to take voluntary unpaid leae up to 80 weeks. Even when times were good, I don't know many people who could afford to go without a paycheck for two weeks. Such are the times.

I will be honest - all this news got me worried. What if there is no job when I return back in July? I have never been in an unstable or uncertain job situation, but this certainly feels like it for me now since it was my intention on returning back to my old job. I can imagine what it is like for all my friends and co-workers back at SSA. This situation has showed me how hard-wired and prone I am to worry.I think worry is one of those daily reactions which I feel must be immediately confessed. So please don't bother trying to tell me that it is a natural reaction that God is simply okay with. Why such the hard stance againt worry? It's ridiculously unnecessary - especially when I reflect how faithful God has been to my family and I. So do I believe God will continue to lavishly care for us? Yes. Will I have the faith to trust Him throughout and accept whatever he would have us. I hope so. I need grace in this - every single moment.

So we shall wait to see how this all unfolds. This may be get interesting.

PS. Regarding the photos. Today I wore my mint-green barong (Filipino shirt), and went into the "green room" here at the office, trying to be invisible.