Hold On - This May Take a While
Megumi's parents are visiting here with us from Tokyo. They will be here a total of 11 days (Feb. 9-21).
The initial plan was for me to be returning back to Cebu for a follow-up visit at My Refuge House during this time and they were be around to help Megumi and the kids in my absence. They also hoped to help unpack many of our belongings which were kept in storage or being shipped from the Philippines.
Since the plans to return to Cebu did not work out, I am and will be here during their entire visit. Without going into much detail, imagine having your in-laws around while being out of work while their daughter is 18 weeks pregnant. And oh yeah, there are three kids already, one of them in school. Add to that a lack of approval of our decision to do something crazy like "uprooting" our family and go to the Philippines in the first place.
Let's say I can think of a few places I'd rather be right now - like umm...uh...Cebu or even in a dental chair undergoing a root canal. Which reminds me I don't have dental or any health insurance.
I've already had to explain and assure to Megumi's parents that we are okay financially and tried to explain how God has been faithful to us throughout. I must have sounded like I was in la-la land because they wanted to talk about the "real concrete issues" such as how we were going to pay for tuition, our mortgage, and blah, blah, blah. Megumi and I tried our best to assuage their worries and fears. I get the fact that they are parents and its their job is to worry. But I think there comes a time where encouragement (which some how means to help someone be courageous) to be strong should surpass the desire for your children to be secure and safe.
I told them that I had a job interview last week and was waiting to hear from them about my application. I was hoping to hear something before they arrived on Tuesday, but that did not happen. For a few days, I thought about dressing up every day as if I was going somewhere - like work or a job interview. I mean, this is commonly done in Japan and a movie was even made with such a story line - "Japanese men who pretend to go to work each day in order to save face with their family and friends. (They) whittle the work day hours away in parks and libraries, with scores of other downtrodden, but well-dressed, men who are engaged in the same deception."
Instead, I decided to gut it out by trying to act busy around the house (our mirrors and windows are looking great) and actually working on job search and applications on my laptop in our bedroom.
Our daughter, Hana, who is aware that I am looking for a job, also realized how worried her grandparents were about our situation. She remarked that they don't know about our faith in God and how we don't have to worry because He always has taken care of us. Enough said. Through the mouth of babes.....
After a few days of waiting for response (I actually emailed the firm yesterday as a follow-up), I realized that finding work may take some time and that I had to "bear down" and "dig deep" and "hold on" to my Heavenly Father in faith in a tighter way.
The passage found in Hebrews 6:10 came to mind and showed the path I had to be on -
"This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast..."
I imagined myself holding onto an anchor buried deep - very deep in the seabed...sure and steadfast. Digging deep, I saw myself steadfast despite being tossed and turned because I knew Whom my hope was in.
With anticipation building as the week progressed, I finally got word via email around noontime today that I would not be invited to move further along in the hiring process for the position I had interviewed for eight days earlier.
After my initial reaction of disappointment and confusion, I was reminded of the Anchor, who told me to "Hold On" and "Be still my soul."
Earlier this morning, a few hours before news about the job, I got a word via email. I get them daily and they are called "Seed for the Day." They are very simple truths which take only a few seconds to read. This was the Seed for today:
With the initial excitement of last weeks interview, I thought that the possibilities of immediately finding a job and one that seemed exciting and challenging were real. But perhaps God has more shaping in my life and that a quick answer or resolution would forgo the more important work.
I know that a mass of other people are in the same situation as I am - looking for work. But I wonder how many of them are released from the bondage of needless worry thinking that their entire existence is dependent on themself. All I know is that "I have a Father, who calls me His own..."
I thank everyone for their continued prayers. Let's dig deep - this may take a while.
The initial plan was for me to be returning back to Cebu for a follow-up visit at My Refuge House during this time and they were be around to help Megumi and the kids in my absence. They also hoped to help unpack many of our belongings which were kept in storage or being shipped from the Philippines.
Since the plans to return to Cebu did not work out, I am and will be here during their entire visit. Without going into much detail, imagine having your in-laws around while being out of work while their daughter is 18 weeks pregnant. And oh yeah, there are three kids already, one of them in school. Add to that a lack of approval of our decision to do something crazy like "uprooting" our family and go to the Philippines in the first place.
Let's say I can think of a few places I'd rather be right now - like umm...uh...Cebu or even in a dental chair undergoing a root canal. Which reminds me I don't have dental or any health insurance.
I've already had to explain and assure to Megumi's parents that we are okay financially and tried to explain how God has been faithful to us throughout. I must have sounded like I was in la-la land because they wanted to talk about the "real concrete issues" such as how we were going to pay for tuition, our mortgage, and blah, blah, blah. Megumi and I tried our best to assuage their worries and fears. I get the fact that they are parents and its their job is to worry. But I think there comes a time where encouragement (which some how means to help someone be courageous) to be strong should surpass the desire for your children to be secure and safe.
I told them that I had a job interview last week and was waiting to hear from them about my application. I was hoping to hear something before they arrived on Tuesday, but that did not happen. For a few days, I thought about dressing up every day as if I was going somewhere - like work or a job interview. I mean, this is commonly done in Japan and a movie was even made with such a story line - "Japanese men who pretend to go to work each day in order to save face with their family and friends. (They) whittle the work day hours away in parks and libraries, with scores of other downtrodden, but well-dressed, men who are engaged in the same deception."
Instead, I decided to gut it out by trying to act busy around the house (our mirrors and windows are looking great) and actually working on job search and applications on my laptop in our bedroom.
Our daughter, Hana, who is aware that I am looking for a job, also realized how worried her grandparents were about our situation. She remarked that they don't know about our faith in God and how we don't have to worry because He always has taken care of us. Enough said. Through the mouth of babes.....
After a few days of waiting for response (I actually emailed the firm yesterday as a follow-up), I realized that finding work may take some time and that I had to "bear down" and "dig deep" and "hold on" to my Heavenly Father in faith in a tighter way.
The passage found in Hebrews 6:10 came to mind and showed the path I had to be on -
"This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast..."
I imagined myself holding onto an anchor buried deep - very deep in the seabed...sure and steadfast. Digging deep, I saw myself steadfast despite being tossed and turned because I knew Whom my hope was in.
With anticipation building as the week progressed, I finally got word via email around noontime today that I would not be invited to move further along in the hiring process for the position I had interviewed for eight days earlier.
After my initial reaction of disappointment and confusion, I was reminded of the Anchor, who told me to "Hold On" and "Be still my soul."
Earlier this morning, a few hours before news about the job, I got a word via email. I get them daily and they are called "Seed for the Day." They are very simple truths which take only a few seconds to read. This was the Seed for today:
Building Faith = Learning to Wait
"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!" - Habakkuk 2:3.
With the initial excitement of last weeks interview, I thought that the possibilities of immediately finding a job and one that seemed exciting and challenging were real. But perhaps God has more shaping in my life and that a quick answer or resolution would forgo the more important work.
I know that a mass of other people are in the same situation as I am - looking for work. But I wonder how many of them are released from the bondage of needless worry thinking that their entire existence is dependent on themself. All I know is that "I have a Father, who calls me His own..."
I thank everyone for their continued prayers. Let's dig deep - this may take a while.
posted by ERuss at
10:06 PM
2 Comments:
This morning as I watched you speak at church, I noticed some people squirming uncomfortably in their chair. It's something I've observed from people when my faith is too bold, too aggressive, and too candid, especially when I "disrupt" their lives with a heinous issue like human sex trafficking. But that IS the reason I value you as a friend because of your boldness in faith, your candor, etc. For me, I don't hide my struggles or flaws or idiosyncrasies. I tell them the sins I've committed, the ones I'm still struggling with and so on. Some stop talking to me and that's okay.
I loved reading this blog entry because it's real. My boyfriend Ray has been laid off for over 6 months now and I haven't been the most supportive. Neither have I been the best example of Christ. He said this to me recently, "For someone who talks about loving God so much you are surely hateful. It's like I was in a wheelchair and you just straight up kicked me in my gut." Ouch.
I also haven't been very loving toward my own father when he's sick and deteriorating. So the list goes on.
I will pray for your job hunting and for your perseverance during what I call the holding time. God's been really dealing with me and how I love others. So thank you for helping me see more of what God's love is about.
Nannette - thanks again for your thoughts here. We are all EGRs (Extra Grace Required). Your ability to see yourself honestly yet with grace is really what the Gospel is about - grace to the broken and law to the proud - as Pastor Mike from RH would say. I'm glad we have a Father who has this love thing completely mastered. Be faithful and courageous! He completes what he starts in each of us.
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